Motivate Yourself and Others - The Replace Strategy
September 5, 2008
I'd like to ask you a question. If you had to name one person who can motivate you to make things happen, who would it be?
The chances are that you came up with your boss, your spouse, one of your children, a close friend, or maybe your mother or father. However, there is one person you probably haven't thought about. That's you.
You are your own ultimate motivator. Or, for that matter, your own ultimate de-motivator. Think back at the last time when you decided not to do something. Why was that? Could it be that you had a conversation with yourself where you decided that, even while you must do something, you argued that you couldn't at that moment, since there was something else that was more important to do?
Now remember the following. In any situation where you know that you should act, but still manage to convince yourself to postpone, there's something that you can do to motivate yourself. The strategy is simple: change one word.
And, as an additional bonus: you can use this strategy also when you need to convince your children that they should be starting their homework, or one of your employees that they should get some work done for you!
Here's how it works. From now on, replace must by can. So instead of saying I must do this, you say I can do this. If you use a variation of "must", for instance as in I should do this, use a variation of "can", as in I could do this.
Change your attitude in an instance: An example
Think of something that you actually should do. A project you should be working on, the lawn that needs to be taken care of, anything. Now say to yourself: I must start working on this project. How does that feel? Doesn't really motivate you to make things happen, doesn't it?
Now, replace must with can: I can start working on this project. Different feeling altogether, isn't it? You just changed your attitude by changing one single word!
How did this happen?
Well, the word must is perceived as an external operator of necessity: something or someone "outside" tells you that something needs to be done. Your brain usually doesn't respond too well to such external operators. It feels that it is being pushed in a direction by something over which it hasn't any control.
Instead, the word can is perceived as an internal operator of possibility: something or someone "inside" tells you that you are in control. Now that's something that your brain likes! It actually wants to... start operating!
So where can you use this? Firstly, to avoid conflict! Instead of saying "Go and do your homework now or you won't be watching the game tonight", you could say "You could start your homework now, so that we have time to watch that game tonight". In that second sentence, you actually use another powerful tool: by replacing you with we, you place yourself inside the situation.
Another example: "We must leave now, or we will be late". I know of no spouse who will respond positively to such a remark, yet it's something that we all say every now and then, don't we?
How about replacing it with "We could leave now, so we'll have plenty of time to travel"? By changing "must" into "could" and a negative consequence ("we will be late") into a positve one ("we'll have plenty of time") you are replacing an external indicator of necessity (something else is control) into an internal indicator of possiblity (we can take action).
You can use this (yes, another operator of possibility). You can start now (whoops, another one). Watch the reactions of the people you talk to. You will, and can, be amazed by the results!
Michael Pittman is Life Coach, Marketing and Strategies Consultant, and a the owner of the popular IdeasUnlocked.com web site. Covering subjects such as personal development, business strategy and online marketing, IdeasUnlocked.com has currently over 200,000 readers from all over the world, who visit this web site for ideas that motivate and inspire.
Feel free to visit the special IdeasUnlocked.com Personal Development section for more Self-Help and Personal Development articles.
When not working on IdeasUnlocked.com, Michael is busy working as Life Coach and Business Consultant.
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